You won't relent

Today's "My Utmost for His Highest" (Oswald Chambers) entry reads:

"The reason we are all being disciplined is that we will know God is real. As soon as God becomes real to us, people pale by comparison, becoming shadows of reality. Nothing that other saints do or say can ever upset the one who is built on God."

How true. How do I know God is real? How do you know God is real? Sometimes I say that it's just a deep, pure, knowing, that comes from within my soul and I just know. Sometimes I say God uses scripture, our circumstances, His church, and little things to prove to us that He's there. But recently, the most significant way I think He's real is how we are disciplined. He calls us to sacrifice everything for Him. His way is the best, and not my own. I don't think we can fully grasp this until we have surrendered everything to Him and give him our complete trust to know that He will do what he will. We cannot depend on other believers, we definitely cannot depend on ourselves, and we cannot depend on our past. We can only depend on God. When I grasp that reality - that He alone is the only one who truly knows me, truly leads me, truly loves me... that is when I know He is real. 

And the only thing I can give back is my unashamed, unrestrained praise.

I'll set You as a seal upon my heart
As a seal upon my arm
For there is love that is as strong as death
Jealousy demanding as the grave
And many waters cannot quench this love...

"Trust Me."

That's all I need to hear.

nightime prayer

Look! He comes with the clouds of heaven.

And everyone will see him - even those who pierced him.

And all the nations of the world will mourn for him.

Yes! Amen!

How long will you wait? I sense the urgency. 

My heart breaks for the one trapped in jealousy and hurt. My heart breaks for the one who has never known an encouraging word. For those who chase after what will turn to dust. I see the disatisfaction. I recognize the emptiness of the soul that longs for more of something it can't define.

Lord, that you would make yourself known to them. I see a glimmer of light that breaks through the shell, and spreads, and continues to crack and the light grows bigger... Your light, Your love, that breaks through every shell and every darkness. That spreads like fire into the hearts of the ones who are desperately searching. God, that we would sing together, "holy, holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty!" 

Lord, that our generation would fear you. In humbleness and awe - complete adoration. You are my first love and what a perfect love you give! And so sweetly you sing to my soul...

"I am the Alpha and the Omega - the beginning and the end", says the Lord God. "I am the One who is, who always was, and who is still to come - the Almighty One." 

revelation 1:7-8

"Facebook Is A Great Way To Spend Time"

"Taste and see that that Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

I love reading the songs of David. Said to be a man after God's own heart, his lyrics and poems describe the lowest lows and the highest heights of our relationship with God. A lot of the time, his songs talk about God delivering him from his enemies. While I was reading Psalms one day, the whole enemy thing didn't strike a chord with me. I don't have one enemy, and if I did, he/she would not try to destroy me and take away my goats and kingdom and stuff. So while reading, my thoughts kind of wandered off... 

Until this morning, I went for a walk. It's pretty cold right now so I briskly moved through the morning air, thinking about things I needed to do and people I needed to see. David's songs popped into my head, and I began to think about his enemies and how I didn't have any, and how I wish Psalms was a little more relevant to me. I thought about how David had enemies all the time, because he was king - and he was in constant need of God to destroy his enemies, because they suck. They tried to steal things away, destroy what he had built, and probably humiliated David at any chance they could get because he believed in an unseen God. Suddenly it hit me that I have millions of enemies. They're not necessarily people. They are things, ideas, social "norms" that try to steal away my joy and peace, destroy what I have built with God, and humiliate me for my unwavering belief in an unseen God.  My "enemy" is this world we live in, that tries to get me to buy into its ideas. The enemies I have look like expensive cars, nice houses and diamond jewelry. I have enemies named "Apathy," "Sin Isn't That Bad," and "God Judges You On Your Performance." I often get on the battlefield with the enemy "You Need To Be Liked By Everyone." I especially draw my sword for "I Can Do Things On My Own, Thank You Very Much." 

So I think I have just as many enemies as David had. And while they may not be trying to drive a sword through my heart, they try to drive a sword through my soul. Reading on in Psalms to David's victory songs gives me confidence that God will shatter those enemies of mine. 

I pursued my enemies and overtook them;

I did not turn back till they were destroyed.

I crushed them so that they could not rise;

they fell beneath my feet.

You armed me with strength for battle;

you made my adversaries bow at my feet.

You made my enemies turn their backs in flight,

and I destroyed my foes...

The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!

Exalted be God my Savior!

He is the God who avenges me,

who subdues nations under me,

who saves me from my enemies.

You exalted me above my foes;

from violent men you rescued me.

Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O Lord;

I will sing praises to your name.

Psalm 18:37-50

happy new year 2009

So every semester I come up with a list of goals I want to accomplish. If I made a resolutions list for an entire year it would be too overwhelming and I would also forget about it, so semester goals work great for me.

Spring Semester Goals 2009

1. Lose another ten pounds

2. Read scripture daily (I read a lot more last semester and want to kick it into gear a little more this semester)

3. Consistently serve, love, and be honest with the people closest to me

4. Save $300

5. Finish a painting

6. Make A's in my classes (I only have two; hopefully that's achievable)

Ok. Those seem simple enough, yet achievable, but will also be difficult and require lots of work. I think I'm ready.

Now for some recommendations:

"Havah: The Story of Eve" by Tosca Lee is amazing. It is such a beautifully written description of the beginning of humanity, and never before have I appreciated our Creator in such humble adoration.

And, you should see my new favorite movie:

The best movie I've seen a long time. Go see it and invite me along!